NARUTO: Explosion Series

NARUTO: Explosion is a series which occurs roughly 150 years after Naruto Uzumaki ended his reign as Rokudaime Hokage. It's full of adventure, and awaits members to participate!
 
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 Kai Mawaru [Done]

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Kai Mawaru

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Posts : 23
Join date : 2010-07-16

Character sheet
Name: Kai Mawaru
Affiliation: Kumogakure
Rank: ANBU

PostSubject: Kai Mawaru [Done]   Fri Jul 16, 2010 6:47 am

Personal Information

Birthdate: August 12

Birthsign: Leo

Name: Kai Mawaru

Nickname: N/A

Personality:
-Calm
-Strict
-Serious At Work
-Respectful

Likes:
-Learning
-Training
-Peace

Dislikes:
-War
-Annoying People

Physical Information

Gender: Male

Age: 18

Height: 5'87

Weight: 58lbs

Hair Color: Black

Eye Color: Balck

General Appearance:
Spoiler:
 

Clan Information

Clan: Mawaru

Kekke Genkai/Hiden: Storm Release

Head of the Household: Hizashi Mawaru

Social Information

Family: -

Friends: -

Ninja Status

Affiliation: Kumogakure

Ninja Registration: 125489

Rank: ANBU

Class: A-Rank

Academy Graduation Age: 8

Chunin Promotion Age: 11

Chakra Information

Nature: Wind and Lightning

Specialization: Ninjutsu

Jutsu

Basic Jutsu
-Replacement Technique
-Clone Technique
-Body Flicker Technique
-Transformation Technique

Spoiler:
 


Additional Jutsu -

Arsenal

Ninja Tools:
20 Kunai's
15 Shuriken
6 Explosive tags
10 Smoke Bombs

Primary Weapon:-

Secondary Weapon: -

Biography & RP-Sample

Biography:
Kai was born in Kumogakure, his father died in a mission, he was also ANBU and his mother deceded when he was 14. Kai was a hard-working academy student, his goal in life was to step on his father's steps and be ANBU to protect his village from any other shinobis. Kai gratuated when he was 8 nad kept working to complete his trip in this cold and hard life. Then he took the Chuunin exam and passed it in the age of 11. Kai was from Mawaru clan so he often uses Storm release like all of his clan members. Raikage knew his father and he noticed that the kid Kai was like his father in everything so he trusted that he can do a good job as ANBU. In the age of 18, Raikage chose and hired Kai as ANBU and said to him" I trust you young man, you're just like father, brave smart and strong. So I hope you do a good job and protect your village." Kai thought that his father will be proud of him, and he was very glad to have that in his mind, he used that idea like a fuel to make him keep working and developing.

RP-Sample:
Kai was sitting on a tree branch, staring at the sky, thinking of his father being proud to be ANBU like his father. Suddenly, a kunai was thrown at him so he quickly blocked it with a kunai, then jumped in the air landing on the ground silently. A shinobi came out from shadows " You're always awake like your dead father!"
"How did you know my father?" said Kai, the shinobi laughed saying " It seems you dont know the truth, Im the one who killed him'
Kai was chocked he fastly, without thinking did the handsigns and yelled " Fury of storm!" he focused a lot of chakra in the center of his both palms and aimed to the shinobi, the chakra made two spheres of light that kai shot on the killer of his father. The shinobi was hit badly he disapeared without letting anything behind him. Kai ran toward the Raikege's office very fast and knocked the door, the raikage let him in. Kai said " Sir, I have a personal new!" "What is it?" said Raikage " I just met the one who killed my father! I attacked him and I hit him very bad so he had to ran away." answered Kai.
The Raikage shouted " Oh my god! Ill take care of that by my self." then he walked out of his office.


Last edited by Kai Mawaru on Fri Jul 16, 2010 10:51 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Hayato Hyuga
Jonin of Kirigakure
Jonin of Kirigakure
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Posts : 107
Join date : 2010-06-28
Age : 24
Location : This time...

Character sheet
Name: Hayato Hyuga
Affiliation: Kirigakure
Rank: Jonin Commander

PostSubject: Re: Kai Mawaru [Done]   Fri Jul 16, 2010 8:30 am

Well there's a few things:

1) How come your char graduated from Academy without the 3 basic jutsus ?

2) The last 3 jutsus need their limitations explained a bit more detailed like the Storm techniques

3) Explain Wind Release: Great Vacuum Sphere a bit more, though I know that jutsu but for other members and mods. Explain it's effects and a bit more description please

4) I am not sure but Storm Maximum Style is usually given permission by the head of household but since the head of the household is a NPC I think and you are an ANBU then there is no problem having it. Kiri correct me if I am wrong about this one =/

Edit those and I will see to it again.
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Kai Mawaru

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Posts : 23
Join date : 2010-07-16

Character sheet
Name: Kai Mawaru
Affiliation: Kumogakure
Rank: ANBU

PostSubject: Re: Kai Mawaru [Done]   Fri Jul 16, 2010 8:44 am

Fixed
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Karasu Uchiha
The Last Uchiha
The Last Uchiha
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Posts : 68
Join date : 2010-06-21

Character sheet
Name: Karasu Uchiha
Affiliation: Kirigakure
Rank: Genin

PostSubject: Re: Kai Mawaru [Done]   Fri Jul 16, 2010 11:45 am

Alright Kai, I will continue reviewing your app so we can get you approved as soon as possible, Thanks for your help Hayato Hyuga:

1. First of all you do not need to start out with three basic Jutsu though I recommend you do so, as they can be very helpful when Role playing. I recommend at least 1or 2 of the basic Jutsu.

2. For your Birthsign, it revolves around the Zodiac please change this.

3. Please make yourself at least 18 if you wish to be at ANBU rank.

4. Storm Release: Laser Beam (Ranton: Reiza Koosen)- needs a limit and cooldown.

5. Iron Mayhem (Tetsu Soodoo)- you need a duration, and cooldown.

6. Storm Release: Laser Circus (Ranton: Reiza Sākasu)- needs a duration, and cooldown.

7. Storm Maximun Style (Ranton Maximun Yooshiki)- needs a limit and cooldown.

8. Harassing Dome of Light (Urusai Doomu no Akarui)- needs a duration, and cooldown.

9. Fury of the Storm (Gekijou no Ranton)- please be less specific with the duration, charge, and cooldown. This technique needs 1 Post to charge up so please state that on limitations.

10. Wind Release: Beast Wave Palm- needs a limit.

11. Lightning Release: Wave of Inspiration- needs a limit.

12. Vacuum Great Sphere- please be less specific on the limit.

13. In your biography, 14 is too young to be accepted as an ANBU please change this.

14. You will need a longer Biography and RP-Sample since your applying for an ANBU posistion:

Biography- Must be 5-8 Sentences.

RP-Sample- Must be 8-11 Sentences.

Once you have made these changes I will take a second look at your application.

_________________
"My father died because he lacked the power, I will not make the same mistake..."

- Uchiha Karasu
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Kai Mawaru

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Posts : 23
Join date : 2010-07-16

Character sheet
Name: Kai Mawaru
Affiliation: Kumogakure
Rank: ANBU

PostSubject: Re: Kai Mawaru [Done]   Fri Jul 16, 2010 12:44 pm

Fixed again and I hope its good this time.
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Karasu Uchiha
The Last Uchiha
The Last Uchiha
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Posts : 68
Join date : 2010-06-21

Character sheet
Name: Karasu Uchiha
Affiliation: Kirigakure
Rank: Genin

PostSubject: Re: Kai Mawaru [Done]   Fri Jul 16, 2010 2:41 pm

There is still a few things you need to correct, but good improvement:

1. Storm Release: Laser Beam (Ranton: Reiza Koosen), I apologize for my mistake, I don't see why you would need a limit or cooldown so simply state their is no limitations.

2. Wind Release: Beast Wave Palm- Since it uses large amounts of wind nature chakra I am going to have to ask you to make the limitations: 2 Post Limit, 6 Post Cooldown.

3. Lightning Release: Wave of Inspiration- Needs to have: 3 Post Limit, 6 Post Cooldown as it is a very powerful technique.

4. Wind Release: Vacuum Great Sphere- Don't need a duration. However please make the Post Limit 4 and Cooldown 4.

Once you have made these changes I will take a third look at your application.

_________________
"My father died because he lacked the power, I will not make the same mistake..."

- Uchiha Karasu
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Kai Mawaru

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Posts : 23
Join date : 2010-07-16

Character sheet
Name: Kai Mawaru
Affiliation: Kumogakure
Rank: ANBU

PostSubject: Re: Kai Mawaru [Done]   Fri Jul 16, 2010 10:51 pm

fixed
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Cailina
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
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Posts : 261
Join date : 2010-06-22
Age : 25
Location : The Sky!

Character sheet
Name: Cailina Payne
Affiliation: Kumogakure
Rank: Chunin

PostSubject: Re: Kai Mawaru [Done]   Fri Jul 16, 2010 11:26 pm

If no one sees anything wrong with the application, I'm going to approve it.

Approved

_________________
Angels and demons were circling above me through the thorns to the stars.
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